Grandpa Bob's Epihany

II

Poor fool….He had no restraint, no restraint—
just like Kurtz—a tree swayed by the wind.
Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness

Grandpa Bob was young when it happened, maybe seventeen. Three guys approached, Friday night bullies looking for a victim. One picked him, taunting, and immediately a circle formed, like water dropped into oil. The fellow was not taller than Bob, but seemed older. The fellow was stocky, and in a bizarre way Grandpa Bob still clearly recalled his bluish jowls: like Nixon, he had a five o’clock shadow. Hesitating for a moment, then suddenly enraged at the injustice of the situation he quit thinking altogether until he heard his antagonist grunt I think the cops are here and everyone ran.

He looked at his bleeding knuckles and felt exhilaration mixed with hatred. He felt energized, and he might have continued fighting without thinking for a while longer because he had lost control of himself and had rather enjoyed it. Tonight in his rage a part of him wanted to hit Mr. Five 'clock Shadow again and again no matter what the cost.

That’s how years later Grandpa Bob came to figure it out. What might he do if there were no restraints? He had always thought that in his heart he was basically a good person. Now he was not sure. Placed in the wrong situation he might go to a very dark place and do something irretrievably evil. Like Mr. Kurtz, maybe….