Letter from Nauvoo, February 1, 1843

Letter No. 2

Nauvoo,

Feb. 1, 1843.

My dear fathers & mothers & brothers & sisters:

I take the present opportunity of sending a few lines unto you, hoping they will find you in good health as they leave us at present. I know not whether you will have heard or not of the great and unremedied loss that I have sustained in the death of my husband; my children of the loss of the kindest and most affectionate father, and you, my fathers and mothers, of a son and brothers and sisters of a beloved brother. What shall I say; my heart is too full to dwell on this subject by looking on the melancholy loss, as it were, from him being took from us. I should have informed you by letter before now, but Bro. Thos. Cottam sent a letter to his friends and mentioned about George and all about us, but as to whether the man that brought it arrived safe or not we cannot tell. George had been working at the Nauvoo House and they was not so very busy at harvest time, so a neighbor was going about 25 miles to harvest and he was to take a man with him, so George thought he could like to go, so he took Richard with him. This was on the 5th of July when he left us. He was took sick on the 12th about noon and died in about 5 hours. The man that he went with took a horse and came to tell me. When I got there he was in a coffin, it being night when he got us, so I started in the morning early, so I brought him to Nauvoo to inter.

I will tell you that when he left us he was in perfect good health and quite cheerful; felt to be quite pleased as he was going. A thought struck me as he was going that if we should never see him again alive what a thing it would be, but if I had known that it would have been so, he should not have gone, for I have thought that if he had not gone he would not have died then. You will perhaps want to know what he died on. I think he felt to be unwell, but did not give up working until it was too late, but he did not complain before he did give up. He felt to rejoice that he had got here and was firm in the faith, so I do not mourn as those that have no hope, for I trust that on the morn of the resurrection of the Just I shall there behold him amongst the sanctified and have the priveledge of enjoying with him in those things that remains for the people of God.

Now my dear fathers, mothers, brothers, and sister, I would say do not mourn for him, neither for me nor the children, but mourn for yourselves for the judgements that are coming upon the inhabitatnts of the earth unless they repent of their sins and do those things that he requires at their hands, and by those that have authority from God to execute his laws, for we know that this is the work of God and unless we be obedient to those things which he requires at their hands, the judgment of God will fall upon them as it did in the days of Noah, of Lot and many more. I might mention, for I declare unto you and to all that hear this letter that this is the work of God and that Joseph Smith is a prophet of the Most High God.

As respects a living, we can get our living without troubling anyone if we have our health and we have enjoyed good health as ever we did in England. Ralph can earn as much as will maintain us. I have all my family at home and have had all through winter. The last work that Richard did he earned 15 hundred brick towards building an house, and since then I have had him at home. I can have an acre lot of land if I will without paying anything for it if I will, but I do not know yet whether I shall have it or not (belonging to the Church). We have had plenty of beef-best kind at 1-1/2 c and some at a penny pr pound, and pork at a penny or 2 cents per pound, as good as any in England. We had 20 bushels of potatoes besides what we grew ourselves. Potatoes is 2 bits or a shilling a bushel. Ann and Isabella was living off the most of the summer. Isabella came homesick. She was sick about 3 weeks and now she is very well. Ralph is a very good boy and does the best he can to get us a living and so is Richard. Henry Thombor got a letter from John on the 25th of last month. I am glad to hear they are all well. He sends his best respects to George, but is sorry he is not here to receive it, but we are and desire to be remembered to him.

Henry and his mother and Jane is all well. Ellen got a son on the 30th and is doing very well. Abraham and Margaret Shaw is well. James Smithes and family is well. He received a letter from Dourham and am sorry to hear of Sister Mary’s misfortune. Wm. Moss and Betty Thomas and Ann Cottam, John Rushton, John Ellison and wife, all from Waddington is well. I would mention that John Rushton has made me a present of 7 bushel of wheat. Give my respects to Thos. and Betty Wilkinson of Liverpool and Alice and James at Accrington, Thos. and Nanny Sharp of Burnlez and John and Nancy Fusbury at Harwood, and I want you to let them know that George is dead and I pray that the Lord may inspire their hearts to do his will and be obedient to his commandments, that they may have a right to the Tree of Life and enter in through the gates into the city. I will now give you a few lines of the feelings of my mind:

1st – Farewell all earthly honors, I bid you all adieu;
Farewell all earthly pleasures, I want no more of you.
I want my union grounded in thy eternal soil,
Beyond the powers of Satan where sin can ne’er defile.

2nd – All earthly tribulation is but a moment here,
And then if I prove faithful, a righteous crown I’ll wear.
I shall be courted holy and feed on angels food,
Rejoicing in bright glory among the sons of God.

To my sister Mary I would say a few words. I am sorry to hear of your daughter Elizabeth being poorly and likewise of Henry having his leg out off, but I hope by the time as these few lines reaches you they will be got well, and as God hath appointed means whereby those that had not the priveledge of obeying the Gospel not having heard it, it is the priveledge of me to be baptized for my friends. I shall then be baptized for her husband, so that she can please herself about preparing to meet him, for, as Paul says: “Why are they then baptized for the dead if the dead rise not at all” – 1st Corinthians, 15th Chapter, 29th verse. I send my kind love to her and all the family, and hope you will either send her this letter, or copy of it, and hope they will be wise and do those things that God commands them to do, and as there is but one way, one Lord, one Faith, one baptism and one God and Father of all, so I hope she and all of you will seek where the authority and be obedient so that we may all meet together in the kingdom of God with those we love as is gone before.


I remain, your affectionate daughter and sister,


Ellen Douglas


Give my respects to all the saints and let them read this letter, and I desire an interest in the prayers of the Saints that I may train my children in the way they should go. Ralph and Richard send their best respects to grandfather and grandmother and to all the saints at Donnhams and Clitherde.

We have sent three or four letters since we came to America. I should like to know if you have received them and want you to write and let us know how you all are, and send by the first opportunity if any of the brethren is coming. Direct to me, Ellen Douglas, Nauvoo, Hancock County, Illinois, North America.

Letters from Nauvoo

My Great-grandfather James H. Douglas with his
wife, Irintha Pratt Douglas. "Rintha" was the
daughter of Orson Pratt and Marion Ross Pratt.

Below is James Douglas' explanatory note that was attached to six letters written by his grandmother, Ellen Briggs Douglas (later Ellen Douglas Parker) to her parents in England.

Ogden, Utah
February 2, 1939



“The following letters written by grandmother Ellen Douglas Parker to her Mother in England—written from Nauvoo and Saint Louis between the years of 1842 and 1852, came into my possession with the documents left by my Father Richard Douglas.

The letters to me are priceless and I am taking this means of preserving them in bookform and I hope my posterity and future family generations may read them with the same interest and pleasure that I have read them.”



Sincerely,


JAMES H. DOUGLAS





Letter No. 1.

Nauvoo,
June 2, 1842.

Dear Father and Mother:-

I now take up my pen for the third time to address you, hoping these lines will find you in good health, as it leaves us all at present. I sent one letter from New Orleans with an Englishman, which I expect you will get soon. He was not setting off for England until the beginning of May. I also sent another with one of our Brethren who was coming to England to warn them for another time to prepare for the coming of Jesus Christ, which we believe is drawing nigh, and I expect that you will get this the first. I sent the other about a month since and I am going to send this by Amos Fielding. He has come over from England with some of the Saints and he is returning to Liverpool, so I send this letter by him so that you will have less to pay.

Dear Father and Mother, I am at a loss what I can say to you. I feel so thankful for what the Lord has done for me and my family, for truly all things has worked together for our good. You will see in our former letters how all things did work, for which I feel to praise my Heavenly Father, and I will now say some things about our situation.

We rented a house at 5 shillings a month and we have fire wood on at that, and a good garden above an half an acre. It lies on the side of a hill close before our door. Our house is not such a fine one, but there are many that are much worse, and I prayed that we might have one to ourselves for there is 3 or 4 families in one room, and many have to pitch their tents in the woods, or anywhere where they can, for it is impossible for all to get houses when they come in for they are coming in daily. Scores of houses have been built since we have come here and they still continue building, and it is 8 weeks this night since we came in.

We have got our garden plowed and planted and all our seeds have come up and looks very well. We have planted corn, potatoes, beans, peas, onions, pumpkins, melons, cucumbers and a many other things too numerous to mention, and we have all so got a pig. A man come one day and wanted one of our boys to go and clear him off a piece of ground before he plowed it, and he would give him a pig, so he went about one day and got it. In any land it would have cost 15 or 16 shillings at least. It was Ralph that got it.

We also have got a flock of chickens. We have 13 and I have bought 11 besides, so you have account of all our property, and I think we are far better here than in old England.

We wish all our fathers and mothers and brothers and sisters and all our friends were here, for there is plenty of work and plenty of meat and we can afford to play a day or two anytime when we please and not get into debt. Butter is 5 pece a pound. Sugar is the same. We have not had much fresh meat, but we have had plenty of good bacon and ham. I wish the people in England could get as much as we can. As to prices of other goods, I need not mention because you have heard before. I sent you word in my last letter what we all were doing, but I will mention it again.

George and Ralph is working at the Nauvoo house and Richard has been working at a farmhouse close by, and Isabella at the same place. Richard is now going to work for another man and I expect he will receive for wanges 5 dollars a month besides his board, but we have not exactly agreed till he sees how both sides likes. George is waling when he is at the Nauvoo House, but they are now waiting for some good work, so he is ditching till they want him again. They love their work at the Nauvoo House very well.

I forgot to tell you what Richard was going to work at, but he is going to plough and break up prarie. It has been his work ever since he came here.

James Smithes and his family are all in good health. Ann got another child on the 31st day of May. I have been over to see her and she is going very well. I also mention Hahan Thornber and her family. Henry is in good health at present. Jane has been sick, but she is mending very nicely. Hanah has been a little sick, but she is beginning to mend. Eleen and her husband are well. Old John and Ellen Parker are both in good health and spirits and are expecting their daughter Mary every day. Give their kind love to all enquiring friends. Jo Spencer, Jo Gleson and Alis Cotam and Ann and Jo Rushton and Wm. and Betty Moss are all in good health and spirits. Wm. Moss is building him a house not far from where we live.

There is now in this city a female Charity Society, of which I am a member. We are in number 8 or 9 hundred. Jo Smith’s wife is the head of our socity and we meet on a Thursday at 1 o’clock, where we receive instructions both temporary and spiritually. I must say something about the Prophet the Lord has raised up in these last days. I feel to rejoice that I have been permitted to hear his voice for I know that this is the work of the Lord and all the powers of earth or hell can not gainsay it. The time is not far hence when all will know that this is the work of the Lord and not of man. The time is near at hand when all the proud and they that do wickedly shall be as stubble and the day that cometh shall burn them, saith the Lord of Hosts. I pray that the Lord may remove all darkness from your minds so that you may see clearly the way which you should go, that at last you may enter in through the gate into the City.

Give our kind love to all enquiring friends and to all our brothers and sisters. Tell Jo Thornber that Henry will write soon and we will send some particular word in his letter.

I could like you to send me a letter the first opportunity and let me know how you are going on and how my sister May is and all her family.

Tell all the Saints that come here to bring all these necessary things with them, such as pots and pans and tubs and all your necessary things. Tell John Thornber to bring plenty of print and check, light print and a little patren, and fustan or anything he pleases.

We remain

Your affectionate son and
Daughter

George and Ellen Douglas.


Direct: Nauvoo, Hancock County, Ill., North America

Hardship Case

Since I was #128 (out of 366) in the lottery and I had already taken my physical I was sure I would be called up. I had become resigned to the notion of being a medic. That would satisfy the social demand for service under fire (no cowards allowed, if you please) as well as the personal concern for my eternal soul. We would now wait and see.

The Selective Service responded to my letter announcing Bonny's birth that coming Fall by sending me an application for hardship deferment. I had read in the Handbook for Conscientious Objectors that a hardship deferment was the rarest of deferments. I was not eligible for any other deferment, including fatherhood, since I had maxed them out with two years of 4-D (mission) and an additional 5 years of II-S (student). I was not even asking for hardship consideration. We filled it out anyway, answering frankly all of the questions but fully expecting rejection.

I have never ceased over the years feeling both amazed and blessed by the Selective Service's response: Class III-A, "extreme hardship deferment." I never felt that we were in any sense a hardship case, though some opinions might differ on that even today. But I was not about to go back to the Lord and ask for more acceptable terminology as we received what we believed was His answer to our prayers. We also owe a big thank you to Bonny Brae.

Never once over the years have I had regrets about not serving in the military. Many times, especially as I have spent some time at VA hospitals around LA and seen some of the wreckage of war first hand, my feelings about the evil of war in general and the Viet Nam conflict in particular have been reconfirmed. Objection to war was a good fit for me in 1970 and it still fits fine today.

Making a Claim

IV

Salt Lake City
February 11, 1970


Local Board No. 94
Los Angeles County
2091 E. Colorado Blvd.
Pasadena, Calif. 91107

Dear Sirs:

I have recently written you for information concerning the conscientious objector status. I have since that time received information which permits me to make a more specific request, i.e., that you please send me forms 150 and 151, concerning application for the I-O status and also concerning the preference of civilian work to be performed in lieu of military obligation.

I was heretofore unaware that it was possible, under the right conditions, to perform other work contributing to the good of our nation instead of participating in the military. I have taken steps to apply to the Teacher Corps (March, 1969) and the Peace Corps (Jan., 1970) on my own, before I had any knowledge that such non-military service is acceptable. I would appreciated more knowledge of these programs to supplement the scant information I have picked up by word of mouth, etc.,

Please send the necessary forms and information to

Harry Terrill
303 Douglas St.
Salt Lake City, Utah, 84102

SS No. 4-94-44-2906.

Thank you for your cooperation,

sincerely,



Harry Terrill







Salt Lake City
9 March 1970




Local Board No. 94
Los Angeles County
2091 E. Colorado Blvd.
Pasadena, California
91107



Dear Sirs:


Enclosed please find a statement from my wife’s doctor announcing the birth of our first child sometime next September. We are both very happy.

Also, I would like to officially declare myself a conscientious objector. I have previously requested the forms necessary to make my declaration in form of an application.




Thank you,



Harry Terrill
303 Douglas St.
Salt Lake City, Utah
84102

4-94-44-2906







April 9, 1970

SS Form 150
Selective Service System
SPECIAL FORM FOR CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR


1. Describe the nature of your belief which is the basis of your claim and state why you consider it to be based on religious training and belief.

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon) The following letter, printed in Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought, III, 1 (Spring, 1968) page 8, expresses the Church’s position on conscientious objection.

Mr. Eugene Englund, Jr.
1400 Waverly
Palo Alto, California

Dear Brother Englund:

Reference is made to your inquiry of President N. Eldon Tanner as to the attitude of the Church regarding conscientious objectors.

I am directed to tell you that membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does not make one a conscientious objector. As you are aware, there are thousands of young men of the Church assigned to the various services of the military.

As the brethren understand, the existing law provides that men who have conscientious objection may be excused from combat service. There would seem to be no objection, therefore, to a man availing himself on a personal basis of the exceptions provided by law.

Sincerely yours,
Joseph Anderson
Secretary to the First Presidency


While the Church is not generally known as advocating conscientious objection, we see by the last paragraph of the above letter that members are not discouraged from “availing themselves on a personal basis of the exceptions provided by law.”

The Church has, however, been continually concerned about war and killing in general, and the military draft in particular. The following letter was written by the First Presidency of the Church just after World War II.

Excerpted from Improvement Era, February 1946

We print below a letter dated December 14, 1945, addressed by the First Presidency of the Church to each member of the Utah Congressional Delegation—Senators Thomas and Murdock and congressmen Granger and Robinson. Word has been received by the First Presidency from both Senators and both Congressmen expressing their approval of and belief in the sentiments, reasons, and conclusions set forth in the letter. The letter follows:

Press reports have for some months indicated that a determined effort is in making to establish in this country a compulsory universal military training designed to draw into military training and service the entire youth of the nation. We had hoped that mature reflection might lead the proponents of such a policy to abandon it. We have felt and still feel that such a policy would carry with it the gravest dangers to our Republic.

It now appears that the proponents of the policy have persuaded the Administration to adopt it, in what on its face is a modified form. We deeply regret this, because we dislike to find ourselves under the necessity of opposing any policy so sponsored. However, we are so persuaded of the rightfulness of our position, and we regard the policy so threatening to the true purposes for which this Government was set up, as set forth in the great Preamble to the Constitution, that we are constrained respectfully to invite your attention to the following considerations:

1. By taking our sons at the most impressionable age of their adolescence and putting them into army camps under rigorous military discipline, we shall seriously endanger their initiative thereby impairing one of the essential elements of American citizenship. While on its face the suggested plan might not seem to visualize the army camp training, yet there seems little doubt that our military leaders contemplate such a period, with similar recurring periods after the boys are placed in the reserves.
2. By taking our boys from their homes, we shall deprive them of parental guidance and control at this important period of their youth, and there is no substitute for the care and love of a mother for a young son.
3. We shall take them out of school and suffer their minds to be directed in other channels, so that very many of them after leaving the army, will never return to finish their schooling, thus over a few years materially reducing the literacy of the whole nation.
4. We shall give opportunity to teach our sons not only the way to kill but also, in too many cases, the desire to kill, thereby increasing lawlessness and disorder to the consequent upsetting of the stability of our national society. God said at Sinai, “Thou shalt not kill.”
5. We shall take them from the refining, ennobling, character-building atmosphere of the home, and place them under a drastic discipline in an environment that is hostile to most of the finer and nobler things of home and of life.
6. We shall make our sons the victims of systematized allurements to gamble, to drink, to smoke, to swear, to associate with lewd women, to be selfish, idle, irresponsible save under restraint of force, to be common, coarse, and vulgar,-- all contrary to and destructive of the American home.
7. We shall deprive our sons of any adequate religious training and activity during their training years, for the religious element of army life is both inadequate and ineffective.
8. We shall put them where they may be indoctrinated with a wholly un-American view of the aims and purposes of their individual lives, and of the life of the whole people and nation, which are founded on the ways of peace, whereas they will be taught to believe in the ways of war.
9. We shall take them away from all participation in the means and measures of production to the economic loss of the whole nation.
10. We shall lay them open to wholly erroneous ideas of their duties to themselves, to their family, and to society in the matter of independence, self-sufficiency, individual initiative, and what we have come to call American manhood.
11. We shall subject them to encouragement in a belief that they can always live off the labors of others through the government or otherwise.
12. We shall make possible their building into a military caste which from all human experience bodes ill for that equality and unity which must always characterize the citizenry of a republic.
13. By creating an immense standing army, we shall create to our liberties and free institutions a threat forseseen and condemned by the founders of the Republic, and by the people of this country from that time till now. Great standing armies have always been the tools of ambitious dictators to the destruction of freedom.
14. By the creation of a great war machine, we shall invite and tempt the waging of war against foreign countries, upon little or no provocation; for the possession of great military power always breeds thirst for domination, for empire,and for a rule by might not right.
15. By building a huge armed establishment, we shall belie our protestations of peace and peaceful intent and force other nations to a like course of militarism, so placing upon the peoples of the earth crushing burdens of taxation that with their present tax load will hardly be bearable, and that will gravely threaten our social, economic, and governmental systems.
16. We shall make of the whole earth one great military camp whose separate armies, headed by war-minded officers, will never rest till they are at one another’s throats in what will be the most terrible contest the world has ever seen.
17. All the advantages for the protection of the country offered by a standing army may be obtained by the National Guard system which has proved so effective in the past and which is unattended by the evils of entire mobilization.
Responsive to the ancient wisdom, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it,” obedient to the divine message that heralded the birth of Jesus the Christ, the Savior and Redeemer of the world, “…on earth peace, good will toward men,” and knowing that our Constitution and the Government set up under it were inspired of God and should be preserved to the blessing not only of our own citizenry but, as an example, to the blessing of all the world, we have the honor respectfully to urge that you do your utmost to defeat any plan designed to bring about the compulsory military service of our citizenry. Should it be urged that our complete armament is necessary for our safety, it may be confidently replied that a proper foreign policy, implemented by an effective diplomacy, can averr the dangers that are feared. What this country needs and what the world needs, is a will for peace, not war. God will help our efforts to bring this about.

Respectfully submitted,

Geo. Albert Smith
J. Reuben Clark
David O. McKay

The First Presidency


You will note that I have underlined some of the parts of the letter for particular emphasis. In #4 the brethren reiterate the commandment of God, THOU SHALT NOT KILL. I cannot in good conscience obey this commandment and serve in combat. I will not be trained to kill. I wish to heal, not maim. In. #14 the brethren comment that the development of a great war machine is an invitation and a temptation to wage war rather than negotiate for solutions to problems, a situation which has become a reality in these days. Those individuals who could justify their killing before in the name of national defense would now have a very slim excuse. In the last four lines of the letter the brethren give the Lord’s formula for solving disputes: “…a will for peace, not war.”

I am opposed to war. The Lord has commanded against it:

And again, this is the law that I gave unto mine ancients, that they should not go out unto battle against any nation, kindred, tongue, or people, save I, the Lord, commanded them.
And if any nation, tongue, or people should proclaim war against them, they should first lift a standard of peace unto that people, nation, or tongue;
And if that people did not accept the offering of peace, neither the second nor the third time, they should bring these testimonies before the Lord; (Doctrine and Covenants 98:33-5)

Only after we have put up a standard of peace three times in the face of attack can we go to the Lord and receive justification for battle. He has told us “Therefore, renounce war and proclaim peace….” (D&C 98:16) These are my sentiments also.

The person who is conscientiously opposed to war maintains a difficult position in a society with a propensity for combat. Jesus said to the Pharisees, “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.” (Mark 12:17) If one opposes war he must decide just how much he opposes it. Enough to leave and renounce citizenship of the country? Enough to discontinue payment of taxes? Enough to refuse to render any service at all to the country? Enough to merely refuse military service? I love my country, and will not leave it because a few unrighteous men wish to wage war. I will serve my country, rendering unto it those things I can render, while at the same time (to the best of my ability) obeying and honoring the laws of my God. However, when Caesar demands me to render to him that which is God’s, I feel my allegiance is first to God. Governments are established for the protection of God-given rights of man (D&C 134:1,2), not to deprive him of them. An involuntary draft into the military deprives citizens of a large degree of personal life and liberty. It indirectly deprives others of life. The soldier must be trained to kill, and he must kill in combat upon orders or be in jeopardy of losing his own life. If a man volunteers for this type of activity and relishes its execution he has then chosen his own damnation. I choose a different road.

I would rather not serve at all in any way that would support killing of men and war against another nation. If called to service as a medic I would like to think I were serving my fellow man and my country, but not the military and what it stands for. I would hope that during my entire life, not just for two years, I am oriented to the service of my country and mankind. I wish to heal, build, create. I will not kill, destroy, or urge others in these aims. “Therefore, renounce war and proclaim peace.”

2. Explain how, when and from whom or from what source you received the religious training and acquired the religious belief which is the basis of your claim.

I have been educated in the doctrine of Christ all of my life. I have been regularly in attendance at weekly Sunday School and Sacrament meetings for as long as I can remember. My teaching in the home has always been oriented around the gospel of Jesus Christ. Life has always been sacred to me, and the waste of life in any form has been looked upon severely in my home. Furthermore, violence and disregard for the rights of others were very subtly but very strongly taught as being evil. I can remember only one fight I have been involved in which was anything more than a daring exchange of playground epithets and a modified pushing match. Except for this one time I never exchanged blows in even the worst of engagements. As I consciously examine my motives in retrospect, I see that the principle of the “golden rule” has been at work in my life. I know what it is to be “picked on.” I therefore don’t believe in “picking on” others or treating them with disrespect. I have been taught to extend this principle of respect to animals and property.

I have always believed that prophets have headed our church. I have always believed the Bible to be the word of God as far as translated correctly, and that the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants and Pearl of Great Price are also the word of God revealed to prophets in our time. My beliefs probably began to really crystallize into knowledge in my nineteenth and twentieth years when I was away at college at Brigham Young University, where I was greatly influenced by religion instructors and roommates. In January of 1965 I was called to serve a mission for my church. My experiences, associations and studies in the ensuing two years and three months were vital to my present outlook. In the mission field I was called to positions which necessarily cultivated both a sensitivity to others and a sense of obligation to God in fulfilling His purposes on the earth. Since being released from the mission field in 1967 I have worked for two years as a teacher in the Language Training Mission at Provo, Utah. There it was my number one responsibility to help the missionaries become disciples of Christ. I worked with them daily in scripture classes and in Spanish classes. Aside from my work as the Language mission I have continued active in the Church as a Sunday School teacher, a worker in youth social programs and presently as instructor of my Elder’s Priesthood quorum. In December, 1967, I was married in the Los Angeles Temple of the Church. The companionship of my wife has been one closely allied with gospel principles. We attend church together and often discuss at length in our home what we learn in church. We regularly hold what is called Family Home Evening in our home, a weekly period of discussion of gospel principles and their practical application. All of these activities are centered around the teaching of Christ. Love and respect for mankind are most necessarily a part of a Christian life.

In the few months since I have been contemplating my claim for conscientious objection I have talked extensively with my wife, parents, friends, Bishop and Stake President concerning these things. I have also been studying the volumes of discourses of most of the general authorities of the Church since its founding in 1830. These studies have all consistently pointed toward the bases of my claim mentioned in part 1 of this application. Perhaps the most influential piece of knowledge I have gained has only been the reiteration of what I had known before: each member of the Church must be responsible to know for himself what it right for him to do, and act on that knowledge. Hugh B. Brown, and Apostle in the Church and at the time a member of the First Presidency, said in a letter (dated April 24, 1969) to Dennis M. Clark concerning conscientious objectors: “This is, of necessity, a matter which each individual must determine for himself based upon his own convictions and having in mind the welfare of the state.” I have no doubt that my own convictions are very much in keeping with the welfare of the state.

Only in the past year have I really had to worry about the draft, so only in the past year have I really begun to think of how I would react personally to the military and to combat. I applied for and was offered a Navy commission in early 1969. After visiting the Naval Air Station at Alameda, California, and associating there for a while with the officers, I came to the conclusion that the tendency among the men there was to be idle, to dwell on lewd thoughts and to get the most from the military with the least possible effort. Many openly expressed that it was a good chance to obtaining free training (at a good salary) to become airline pilots upon discharge. Because of my feeling after visiting Alameda I turned down the commission in favor of prospects of working in the Teacher Corps, a national program dealing in education among the poor. These feelings I had at the time compare remarkable with the items 6 and 11 of the letter of the First Presidency concerning the draft (pages 2 and 3 of this application).

My first feeling against the service was, then, not an antipathy for killing men. I had never quite thought about the seriousness of the action, but thought that if the situation ever occurred when I would have to kill that all would be justified. Hadn’t men been “justifiably” at war for centuries? I at first merely thought that the service was a waste of good, productive, creative time. I still believe it is. I found that I didn’t want to be put in a position where I would involuntarily have to perform. What if I didn’t want, for example, to sing a marching song with obscenities in it? What if I didn’t want to live in a barracks atmosphere that was degrading and filthy? In no other area of American life does one involuntarily lose his free agency as he does as a draftee.

During the November 15, 1969, student moratorium against the war in Viet Nam I was disgusted with the overwhelming majority of students who were more interested in wearing black arm bands and marching and cutting classes than they were in learning about our position in Viet Nam. I went to the library and studied the issue. I am convinced that the “freedom” of the Vietnamese has become a secondary issue in the war—secondary to making money in defense industry, building a bigger military machine, and furthering other selfish interests. Vietnamese elite seem to be jut as guilty as we are. Would I become another by-product of such corruption? There is a lot of money to be made in a war.

These feelings abut Viet Nam are a part of the knowledge that all wars are unrighteous—a fact I had not really encountered face-to-face until January of this year. All wars are unrighteous unless declared by God. I doubt He has declared this one or any other war in modern history. There is no record of His justifying such a war to any of His living prophets.

In January I also began to feel the way I do about killing. For all the blood that is shed and lives that are taken there must be justice exacted. The scriptures are full of reference concerning this, but I have only recently realized that God doesn’t give license for warring nations to kill. Someone must pay. I am not ignorant of these eternal laws, nor am I legally powerless to avoid combat and killing. I cannot allow myself to be put in a position to be required under military law to kill another man.

#3 To what extent does your religious training and belief restrict you from ministering to the sick and injured, either civilian or military, or from serving in the Armed Forces as a noncombatant without weapons?

My religious training does not restrict me from ministering to the sick or injured in any case. On the contrary. As a part of my priesthood duty I frequently administer to the sick. My religious training and belief does not restrict me from serving as a non-combatant without weapons, either.

#4 Have you ever given expressions publicly or privately, written or oral, to the views herein expressed as the basis for your claim?


As I mentioned previously, I have only realized in the past few months that I could conscientiously object to participation in war. I began in January of this year to investigate actively my feelings and my church’s feelings concerning conscientious objection. Only last month did I feel I could officially declare myself a conscientious objector. I have since made a special trip to Los Angeles (from Salt Lake) to visit my parents and discuss my views with them. I have also in this time talked extensively with my Bishop and Stake President concerning the matter, not to mention the numerous conversations I have had and am still having with my wife, who whole-heartedly supports my stand. I have also participated in two hour-long discussions in my Elder’s quorum about this, although the discussions were specifically concerned with the Church’s stand on conscientious objection and not on their stand on war or killing, which are quite explicitly condemned in the scriptures and don’t need much argument. I have expressed my beliefs in letters to friends and associates in the past month, at the same time asking them to submit letters of reference to my local board. I have only in the last two weeks come to the conclusion that I can feel good about serving as a medic rather than seeking I-O status. What I tell people is what I tell you: I don’t believe in copping out. I want to serve my country. But I must serve constructively. If it is impossible to serve God and my country simultaneously, then I must serve God first.

Thanatopsis

III

To kill. I had not thought about it seriously until shortly before my 25th birthday at which time my student deferment status would be lost. I had taken an aptitude test given by the Navy at the end of my senior year at BYU, and had done well. The recruiter thought I would be a good candidate for fighter pilot and invited me to come to Alameda Station in San Francisco for further testing, some orientation and a free weekend in the big city. I went.

We rode there in a troop transport aircraft that had those webbed slings for seats and bare steel bulkheads. I thought I was in a World War II movie ready to parachute out into the night sky, tracer fire all around. Sure hope the anti-aircraft guns don’t pick me out of the sky. Very heady stuff.

I did well enough at Alameda to be offered a commission in the Naval Air program. Jet planes. Giant aircraft carriers. Combat. Shot down in the jungles of Vietnam. POW camp. Walter Middy the intrepid.

In a more rational moment and after giving it a lot of thought I declined the Naval Commission and at the same time thoroughly offended my recruiting officer who gave me some textbook hard sell for a period of time. Mostly, it just did not seem right for me. I was frankly non-plussed by some of the pilots I had met at Alameda whose main goal in life, aside from killing Viet Cong, seemed to be getting out of the Navy to become commercial airline pilots. Nothing against that profession at all (honest, Elder Uchtdorf!), but in my naïve idealism I thought it was more appropriate for a guy to serve his country for the sake of service and not as a means to a professional end. I mean, we were at war, already! And shouldn’t we be focused a bit more on the job at hand?

Then within a few months came the My Lai massacre and all of the sordid finger pointing. My main question was how would I stand up under the pressure to kill innocent people? I thought a lot about the Nuremberg trials and all of those people who were supposedly following orders. How easy to lose control of one's self while "following orders."

Then about in the Fall of 1969 there was an invitation posted around campus for all interested male returned missionaries who were draft age to attend a special orientation to be given at the old Mission Home which was on the present site of the Conference Center. I went (there were perhaps 200 of us present). I think one of the speakers had some connection to the local Salt Lake draft board. The gist of the meeting: if you have a dangerously low draft number your best bet is to join the National Guard so you can avoid combat. Period.

Within a couple of months I was invited to get my physical exam preparatory to receiving my draft notice. It fulfilled all the stereotypes I had been exposed to for such an exam.

I passed the exam, and began to think very seriously about going to war.

Grandpa Bob's Epihany

II

Poor fool….He had no restraint, no restraint—
just like Kurtz—a tree swayed by the wind.
Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness

Grandpa Bob was young when it happened, maybe seventeen. Three guys approached, Friday night bullies looking for a victim. One picked him, taunting, and immediately a circle formed, like water dropped into oil. The fellow was not taller than Bob, but seemed older. The fellow was stocky, and in a bizarre way Grandpa Bob still clearly recalled his bluish jowls: like Nixon, he had a five o’clock shadow. Hesitating for a moment, then suddenly enraged at the injustice of the situation he quit thinking altogether until he heard his antagonist grunt I think the cops are here and everyone ran.

He looked at his bleeding knuckles and felt exhilaration mixed with hatred. He felt energized, and he might have continued fighting without thinking for a while longer because he had lost control of himself and had rather enjoyed it. Tonight in his rage a part of him wanted to hit Mr. Five 'clock Shadow again and again no matter what the cost.

That’s how years later Grandpa Bob came to figure it out. What might he do if there were no restraints? He had always thought that in his heart he was basically a good person. Now he was not sure. Placed in the wrong situation he might go to a very dark place and do something irretrievably evil. Like Mr. Kurtz, maybe….

Renounce War; Proclaim Peace

When I review the performance of this people ... I am appalled and
frightened ... We are a warlike people, easily distracted from our
assignment of preparing for the coming of the Lord. When enemies rise up,
we commit vast resources to the fabrication of gods of stone and steel --
ships, planes, missiles, fortifications -- and depend on them for protection
and deliverance. When threatened, we become anti-enemy instead of pro-kingdom
of God; we train a man in the art of war and call him a patriot, thus, in
the manner of Satan's counterfeit of true patriotism, perverting the
Savior's teaching: "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you ...."

Spencer W. Kimball, June 1976 Ensign

1

It was late and everyone was asleep now as I headed down the hill on the way into Las Vegas and once again noticed the Henderson onramp. It had been 36 years in April since I stood there holding my “LA” sign that Sunday evening. Earlier that morning Barbara had dropped me off at the 9th South onramp in Salt Lake with my old army combat jacket, a copy of Pound’s ABC of Reading and a grocery bag with avocado sandwiches in it. Before she got out of sight a 1967 Porsche pulled up and opened the door. He was going all the way to Los Angeles, and we talked as he drove.

I had never in my life driven so fast in a car. No seat belts in those days either. We averaged at least 100 mph, sometimes hitting 120. After a while it kind of seemed normal to go that fast. Somewhere around Beaver Mario Andretti pulled into the pits and treated me to lunch. The avocado sandwiches stayed in the car. So did Ezra Pound.

It was between Glendale and Las Vegas that the engine started knocking and within a minute the car died at the side of the road. He apparently had no clue about fixing or even maintaining cars; just driving them. He kept trying to re-start it as though he were a trauma physician in some futile but necessary emergency room drama. A waste of energy. I got busy up on the road and put my thumb out. Soon an El Camino pulled over with two girls and two guys, foul and trashy and full of hormones, stuffed into the cab. They were nice enough, though, and agreed to let two dilettante mechanics ride in the truck bed back to Glendale for a quart of oil.

Fat chance that would do it. And it didn’t. Mario cranked and cranked until the battery was gone. So a tow behind the El Camino was arranged. All the way to the Porsche dealership my new friend wondered aloud what those kids would think if they knew the hippy they were hauling was really a returned Mormon missionary who was still a believer. Funny. I no more felt “hippy” in those days than I feel “old” now. But a believer? Absolutely.

That was how I arrived at the onramp near Henderson four hours later as the sun was just going over the hills. It was getting dark, and just a little spooky out there in the desert all alone. Ever hopeful, I waved my “LA” sign at each car until I heard a horn sound behind me, then a guy yelling, “Do you want a ride or not?”

It was the nicest car I had ridden in all day. Or maybe in my whole life. Our own car was a junker, so it was out of the “nice car” competition. But if Mr. Race Driver’s Porsche was hot, then this brand new Cadillac El Dorado was cool, very cool. The driver was a big guy, black and handsome and musical. The girl was a perfect fit for both car and driver: eye-poppingly beautiful and all legs and cleavage for a weekend of casinos and shows. They sang to me most of the way home, and even fed me ice cream in Baker. He told me his name was Tom as he let me off around midnight at Peck Road, with a humorless warning about never referring to anyone as Uncle Tom. I hiked up Peck Road with my bag of avocado sandwiches and Ezra Pound.

Mom was pretty happy to see me, midnight and all. I think she was surprised by the beard, but said nothing. I have no recollection of seeing Pop the next morning, but I sat with my mother for some time and explained to her my feelings about the Vietnam war and about serving in combat.

First Post

I am going to watch The Great White Hope with mom and Noah, in commemoration of MLK day tomorrow and the upcoming release of the new Ken Burns doc. tomorrow night.